if that happened in my country I’d cut my dick off just in case

$200k? did the hospital make the baby?

pretty sure your boss is splurging human babies so shut the fuck up

as the founding fathers intended

vote for me and I’ll make it illegal for CEOs to make public statements.

no. boneless means without bones. there’s no “acceptable risk” when the package says there’s no risk.

I like the illustration. it’s like his head is exploding out of sheer stupidity

“define ‘sex’. no, wait… define ‘life’.”

you’re just catching up… being antifascist has always been anti-American in the rest of the world.

just imagine Obama doing that during his term. i think half of them would just straight up die to an aneurysm. they had conniptions when he wore a tan suit.

when will we just tell these people to shut the fuck up and that we don’t care what they think? I’ve never heard a tech billionaire say anything remotely smart for decades now.

sure thing, dude who has a porn pact with his son, I’m sure you’ve never seen naked people before

never liked 1312. I don’t mind it, but don’t prefer it. reminds me of fascist dog whistles like 1488. there’s no need to speak in code. we’re right. all cops are bastards.

we know it’s not legal, but who’s going to do anything about it?

that’s funny coming from someone who looks like an actual demon

Coach injured by gunfire that crossed into baseball diamond

what an American sentence

the strokes didn’t work, but seeing Charlie’s massive dome on a currency before his own crusty mug will definitely do it.

say hello to president couchfucker.

damn, i didn’t think they did until they said they didn’t. one thing i know is that they can’t tell the truth

man, i bet business is booming for Etsy witches right now

wait isn’t it the mom who should be a saint then?