Oh most definitely. I just pointed it out because everyone talks about how men are never there for their children and partners, and nobody ever talks about how some men can’t be because of abusive partners who tell you you’re lazy when you only work 60-70 hours a week to feed her lifestyle.
I’m probably in the minority here and I’m sure a lot of men are deadbeats for real, but this subject really gets my goat because even my own friends think I’m an asshole for working too much and not being at home enough, while the truth is, it’s my own wife who would rather I work 100 hours instead of, like said, 60-70. I just haven’t told them what’s truly going on in my life.
When I eventually serve her the papers I’ve been dreading, it’ll be with an offer that our child can live with me rather than her if she can’t handle it like she keeps saying. I won’t even ask her to pay me child support if she agrees.
Maybe this rant wasn’t needed here on this topic, but I needed to get it out, I can’t tell people in real life because I don’t really like badmouthing people even when it’s all true. Plus she is the mother of my child, she went through all kinds of hell for 9 months.
Anyway, I think Alexis is approaching all this from the wrong angle. Instead of robots taking care of everything at home, it should be possible to take longer parental leave (for both parents, not just mothers) and work less hours after that. I imagine a lot of men would love to spend more time with their kids, but it’s often the financial and career stress that is so important, especially if you get scolded at home for not making enough money. But then again, he seems to support parental leave too. I was VERY surprised at some parts of this paragraph in the article:
In recent years, Ohanian has become a vocal advocate for paternal leave, an area in which he said the tech industry has “led the way” for working parents. He worked with President Donald Trump’s first administration to encourage a 12-week paid parental leave for all federal workers, which Trump signed into law in 2019 during his first term.
(emphasis on parts I found particularly surprising)
Also to be clear, when I said in my original comment:
Moral of the story is, fathers should do more around the house and take care of children too, but nobody should let their partner guilt trip them into what’s essentially a 140+ hour work week. Both parents need sleep and some time off. Partners should have equal workloads.
I did truly mean both parents should get sleep and time off. Not the “men work hard and need to rest after work” excuse you hear a lot. I do recognize that raising a child is hard work - I, too, get tired when I’m alone all day with the baby. I meant both that fathers shouldn’t guilt their partners into raising children alone and doing all the chores alone, and at the same time (and I acknowledge this is WAY less common), fathers with abusive partners need to recognize it and stand for balance instead of literally sleeping <10 hours a week by drinking energy drinks all day and abusing ADHD medication by taking double doses and only at night not in the morning like you’re normally supposed to take them.
Oh most definitely. I just pointed it out because everyone talks about how men are never there for their children and partners, and nobody ever talks about how some men can’t be because of abusive partners who tell you you’re lazy when you only work 60-70 hours a week to feed her lifestyle.
I’m probably in the minority here and I’m sure a lot of men are deadbeats for real, but this subject really gets my goat because even my own friends think I’m an asshole for working too much and not being at home enough, while the truth is, it’s my own wife who would rather I work 100 hours instead of, like said, 60-70. I just haven’t told them what’s truly going on in my life.
When I eventually serve her the papers I’ve been dreading, it’ll be with an offer that our child can live with me rather than her if she can’t handle it like she keeps saying. I won’t even ask her to pay me child support if she agrees.
Maybe this rant wasn’t needed here on this topic, but I needed to get it out, I can’t tell people in real life because I don’t really like badmouthing people even when it’s all true. Plus she is the mother of my child, she went through all kinds of hell for 9 months.
Anyway, I think Alexis is approaching all this from the wrong angle. Instead of robots taking care of everything at home, it should be possible to take longer parental leave (for both parents, not just mothers) and work less hours after that. I imagine a lot of men would love to spend more time with their kids, but it’s often the financial and career stress that is so important, especially if you get scolded at home for not making enough money. But then again, he seems to support parental leave too. I was VERY surprised at some parts of this paragraph in the article:
(emphasis on parts I found particularly surprising)
Also to be clear, when I said in my original comment:
I did truly mean both parents should get sleep and time off. Not the “men work hard and need to rest after work” excuse you hear a lot. I do recognize that raising a child is hard work - I, too, get tired when I’m alone all day with the baby. I meant both that fathers shouldn’t guilt their partners into raising children alone and doing all the chores alone, and at the same time (and I acknowledge this is WAY less common), fathers with abusive partners need to recognize it and stand for balance instead of literally sleeping <10 hours a week by drinking energy drinks all day and abusing ADHD medication by taking double doses and only at night not in the morning like you’re normally supposed to take them.