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Last month, federal officials allegedly deported one of the suspects in a massive 2022 jewelry heist in Southern California where thieves made off with $100 million in merchandise, in what prosecutors have called the largest jewelry heist in U.S. history.
Jeson Nelon Presilla Flores was sent to Ecuador on or about December 29, according to court documents obtained by The Los Angeles Times. He was believed to be linked to a raid on a Brinks truck that netted a fortune in stolen jewels, gold and watches.
Step 1. Commit
crimeact of civil service, Luigi-style.Step 2. Submit yourself to ICE using a false identity for voluntary deportation.
Step 3. Allow the U.S. government to smuggle you out of the country where they no longer have jurisdiction to prosecute you.
Step 4. Laugh as the crypto-fascists get up on stage and boast about how tough on crime they are.
edit: formatting because phones are stupid.
Well, step 3 depends a lot on Trump’s degenerating mind.
stonks
Lately I’ve heard a lot of officials say somethimg along the lines “if they come here and start causing problems, we’re gonna deport them.” but I never hear them say whether or not the problem-causing immigrants are facing justice. prior to being deported.
Holy fuck! 100 million smackers? That’s like what Jeff Bozos makes in a gnats’s coffee break. But still…
I hope he fucking kept all of it and posts pictures of him smoking cigars and snorting blow off a hooker’s boobs while having Batman and Robin playing in the background with Arnie’s depiction of Mr. Freeze saying ‘Iced to meet you!’
Is that the current version of the American dream?
ICE probably thinks it did its job because the people in it are incapable of thinking that people can have a comfortable life outside of the US, never mind a better one. So basically, they literally helped an immigrant steal $100 million from the US and make away with it because they had an accent and the wrong skin color - which opens up the possibility of just acting like a bad caricature of an immigrant to get free deportations after criminals carry out their crimes.
You get fast-tracked from whatever consequences you would have had to just getting deported, and you didn’t even have to bribe Trump with 2 million dollars. Thanks, ICE!
You think that would work? Volunteer for a self deportation even if you’re technically a US citizen? Asking for reasons unrelated to me
Nah, ICE will deport innocent people only going forward. The criminals stay in the US!
There’s no guarantee he got to keep the money. It could be in a safe buried in America and he has no easy way to get to it again.
I hope he swallowed some of them diamonds!
I’m happy for the dude and wish him well
“Anger as suspect in ＄100M jewelry heist said to be biggest in US history avoids standing trial – because ICE paid for and aided his getaway.”
Yeah… This guy is probably happy to GTFO
Probably called the feds on himself.
Probably cheaper than paying for a pardon
Fucking LOL. That’s amazing.
I’m as happy as anyone in this thread for the ‘victims’ in this particular crime getting their comeuppance, however:
Jeson Nelson Presilla Flores is a criminal illegal alien from Ecuador whose criminal history includes sexual battery, threatening with intent to terrorize burglary, vandalism, robbery, and more,” DHS Assistant Secretary Tricia McLaughlin told The Independent
This might be an attempt at smearing the guy, however if true it puts the jolly atmosphere of a ‘clever rogue that game the system and got away’ that is prominent in this thread in quite a different light.
Imho
He got sent to a gulag, I’m sure he’s not happy.I stand corrected:
The officials said Flores appeared at an immigration hearing on December 16, where he represented himself, and admitted to the allegations against him then requested voluntary departure.
Want to make it better?
Turns out the jewelers intentionally undervalued what was in the truck to avoid paying a high insurance rate. They claimed their goods were only worth about $10m when in reality the actual appraised value was $100m.
Now the jewelers are trying to sue the transportation company (Brinks) for the full value of what was stolen. Brinks, in return, is countersuing the jewelers for breach of contract and fraud.
Honestly hope everyone here loses. Except the guy who self deported. He already won.
Law enforcement doesn’t want you know this simple trick
Commit crimes and then leave the country.
If you’re an immigrant the US government will even charter a flight for you.
The officials said Flores appeared at an immigration hearing on December 16, where he represented himself, and admitted to the allegations against him then requested voluntary departure.
If a bunch of morons offer you a get out of jail free card and a one way ticket to freedomville, you take it.
The prosecutors added they “remain eager to prosecute defendant for his crimes and vindicate his victims” if he returns to the country.
That dude won the jackpot, cashed in his chips, walked out the front door, and he is never coming back.
This whole story couldn’t be more ridiculous if it were a Looney Toon’s episode.
Idk it could be more looney tunes if he does it again. It would be dumb as fuck and he seems smart but still.
Also, legally still innocent. If I were in the position of a falsely accused version of him, you bet your ass I’m doing the exact same thing. Prison slavery or cecot for a crime I didn’t commit or take the out that’s presented.
When word got back to the White House, they all nodded in respect, and Trump intoned “Game recognizes Game.”
never coming back
Why wouldn’t he return illegally, commit crimes and get himself deported again?
Mainly because if he even managed to collect 5% of the actual value of the jewels he stole, he’s now got generational wealth in Ecuador. Why bother?
You underestimate the high life you can lead with a modicum of money in South America.
He’d never do that, that would be illegal!
It’s probably a bit too much of gamble to risk doing it ever again. Deportation is absolutely fine but you don’t want to end up in one of their concentration camps.
I think that’s where the voluntary part comes in. He wasn’t fighting it so they just shipped him off. If he’d fight it then it’s off to camp while we arrange your hearing (whenever we decide to get around to it).
They’ve arrested people who are trying to leave the country, so I wouldn’t rely on that logic.
I mean for all we know he already did. Plus an ice officer would get two deportations toward his quota if this happened. Win/win
Gotta fill the quota. Dude probably traded it for bitcoin and can now live large
Bitcoin is a transparent ledger. It would be better to trade it for USD, which is main currency for laundering illegal funds, and the currency used by both the US and EC
Or Monero
Yes, a privacy coin makes more sense. But it’s not used to launder much money, compared to USD.
The amount of monero that’s used to launder is negligible compared to dollars.
As long as he has the key for the wallet there’s little hope for anyone else accessing the crypto. Its less about the tracking here and more about moving it outside the reach of authorities
The US has collaborated with many countries to arrest people who have illicit funds in crypto.
Ecuador’s Noboa bends at the knee for Trump. He’s a US citizen.
There is no “out of reach” for illicit bitcoin, since it’s a transparent blockchain that is being monitored by millions of people, including governments, LE, and private sector.
since it’s a transparent blockchain that is being monitored by millions of people
Cryptocurrency tumblers exist for a reason. Though I agree that using Monero (or just keepig this money as it is) for such purposes would be better.
And companies that sell services to the government that break tumblers exist for a reason. It’s secret sauce, but most likely the change address and other cleverness.
You can’t launder things if your a whale on bitcoin. It doesn’t work.
I’m talking about non extradition countries
The perfect crime 😎
Do I go for the vault? No I take the chandelier, it’s priceless.
- Dwight Schrute
that happens when high quotas are set as Miller did, ice agents will deport no matter what to fulfill
edit: do Maduro next
We did it Patrick! We saved the American people!We did it Patrick! We owned the libs!
… now do one where the only building on-fire is a bank.
WIth or without the jewelry?
Edit:
Much of the merchandise has not been recovered.
