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resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 21 hours ago

EXCLUSIVE Lizzie Cundy: ‘My new vagina’s so tight it squeaks when I walk’

closeronline.co.uk

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EXCLUSIVE Lizzie Cundy: ‘My new vagina’s so tight it squeaks when I walk’

closeronline.co.uk

resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 21 hours ago
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Lizzie Cundy tells Closer she’s enjoying the best sex of her life as she enjoys her surgically enhanced ‘super vagina’
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  • voidsignal@lemmy.world
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    20 hours ago

    Who’s that ugly plastic bag?

    Oh no, wait. I don’t give a fuck.

    • KneeTitts@lemmy.world
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      20 hours ago

      English socialite, TV personality and former wife of footballer Jason Cundy

      so basically nobody, but one time married somebody… apparenty

      • voidsignal@lemmy.world
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        17 hours ago

        I don’t know who the fuck is jason cundy either. And I told you, I don’t give a fuck. Stop shoving useless knowledge to my brain :)

        • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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          15 hours ago

          Useless knowledge: a black hole can technically exist inside a super-massive star.

          The gravity of the black hole pulls in hydrogen, the force of the hydrogen fusion and Hawking radiation pressure from the black hole try to push the hydrogen/star stuff out.

          For awhile at least, with enough supply of hydrogen (that likely doesn’t exist in a large concentrated enough supply), it can hold itself in balance as the biggest star you’ve never seen.

          Note: take this with a grain of salt, this is my understanding of a kurzgesagt video I watched while high.

          • voidsignal@lemmy.world
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            15 hours ago

            That is not useless, compared to that dumb bitch here, and I already knew this :)

        • Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world
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          15 hours ago

          If Trump wasn’t president we would not know Epstein’s crimes and accomplices.

  • Devolution@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    Tighter? Yes. But is she wet? Like what’s the point of tightness if you’re fucking sandpaper?

    • resipsaloquitur@lemmy.worldOP
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      14 hours ago

      It’s one way to polish a knob.

  • Nusm@peachpie.theatl.social
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    18 hours ago

  • Diddlydee@feddit.uk
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    21 hours ago

    Good lord, she is the epitome of mutton dressed as lamb.

    • GMac@feddit.org
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      15 hours ago

      Mutton dressed as a mock chop. Ftfy

  • felixwhynot@lemmy.world
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    21 hours ago

    Lizzie Cunty apparently

    • AlexLost@lemmy.world
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      20 hours ago

      I would have gone with Fuzzy Cunty personally

  • meejle@piefed.world
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    15 hours ago

    EXCLUSIVE

  • KraeuterRoy@feddit.org
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    17 hours ago

    Good for you, Lizzie…good for you.

  • celeste@kbin.earth
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    21 hours ago

    I don’t know her so now this is the only thing I know about her. Yay? And I’m glad she doesn’t make her sons take her nude pictures anymore?

    • luciferofastora@feddit.org
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      And I’m glad she doesn’t make her sons take her nude pictures anymore?

      She did WHAT

      Fuck, I’m gonna have to read this rag, aren’t I?

  • Smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works
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    20 hours ago

    Squeaks? Sure sure, you’re not covering for flatulence or anything. Or queefulence.

    • SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca
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      18 hours ago

      all dried up and dusty

      • Smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works
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        16 hours ago

        Mmm, friction burns.

  • LumpyPancakes@piefed.social
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    18 hours ago

    Is she the rusty gate girl from Red Dwarf?

  • the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world
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    21 hours ago

    Barf

  • 0ndead@infosec.pub
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    20 hours ago

    Sure Jan

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