Who are the teleportation experts?
Also people who aren’t experts are raising a single eyebrow.
You actually have to be an expert to be dubious of this?
If yes, what kind of expert?
The kind of expert Waffle House hires or feeds:
among roughly two dozen workers and regulars interviewed this week at Rome’s three Waffle House locations, none said they were aware of anyone traveling to the 24-hour restaurants by paranormal means,
Reporter: “Hello, I’m from the New York Times, and I’d like to ask whether you’re aware of anyone who has teleported to this Waffle House?”
Waffle House employee: Thinking “there are some real weirdos who come in here”. “Uh, no.”
This statement looks like it came from a redacted document from FBC headquarters. What in the Remedyverse is this?
I suspect that this story is linked to the one below somehow…
No we’re not doing “experts are dubious.”
We’re at “society is sick of this shit go away asshole,” and have been for some time now.
“FEMA official blacked out and came to at a Waffle House”
FTFY
blacked out and came to at a Waffle House
I have a proposal to add this to the Waffle House FAQs, if they have them.
Q: I teleported to Waffle House. Am I a god? Was I abducted by aliens? Am I the most important person in history?
A: While we cannot definitively rule out any of those things, every time this has happened in the past was due to the customer blacking out and going to the only place that was open at the time. In fact, this situation accounts for a large portion of our revenue. Don’t think of yourself as a pathetic brainless drunk loser. You’re an important part of the economy.
“Experts are dubious” ok that’s sorta funny, but it’s too bad this is such a serious position being held by a blackout Christian drunk.
Strangely after teleporting I always wake up with a headache and memory loss.
I haven’t teleported since this one time where I immediately got lost and had to ask a dragon for a ride home. I woke up naked on my neighbor’s porch with a tattered ribbon of red silk tied around my penis.
It’s terrible what the aliens do to people after they scoop them up and before they teleport them back to Earth. There’s probes and prodding and general dubious medical practices. That’s probably what causes it. I’ve heard they use certain solvents to pacify people first though, so you might fail a breath test when you first return.
Yeah I think they are examining my head a bit too much. So much I’m sometimes also dizzy from it?!
And for some reason it’s always right after twenty beers
Bruh, you weren’t drinking beers, those were glasses of Ayahuasca.
Experts are dubious that he teleported to Waffle House. CNN investigation reveals it was really an IHOP.
Gregg Phillips, who is in charge of responding to fires and floods, says…
Well, I feel safe in knowing that my life and property is in secure and competent hands 🫤
I’m dubious, does that make me an expert? Can I start getting the expert checks?
