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fossilesque@mander.xyz to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 day ago

Man left with a broken arm because of the size of his penis

www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk

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Man left with a broken arm because of the size of his penis

www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk

fossilesque@mander.xyz to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 day ago
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Matt, 41, from London had to cancel his holiday because of the injury
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  • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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    5 hours ago

    Envious men please remember vaginas do have an ending. Don’t trust hentai, your penis will NOT came out of our mouths

    • nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca
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      Next you’re going to tell me that piss doesn’t come from the balls? Please.

    • ✺roguetrick✺@lemmy.world
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      The cervix is just a door if you knock hard enough.

  • thatradomguy@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    WTS Dubs has entered the chat.

  • IndustryStandard@lemmy.world
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    Broken arm you say?

    • El Barto@lemmy.world
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      Leave this behind at reddit, please.

  • BussyGyatt@feddit.org
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    9 hours ago

    is there a way to block all posts with links to a specific site?

  • TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip
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    11 hours ago

    Imagine shitting in a public toilet with such dick, it’s either out on the floor or in the toilet water.

    • glnpf148@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      You could hang it over your shoulder

  • Wispy2891@lemmy.world
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    22 hours ago

    Unrelated but this newspaper says:

    Join our WhatsApp! Our community members are treated to special offers, promotions and adverts from us and our partners

    There’s people that are actually saying “hell yes! Send me ads on WhatsApp, here’s my phone number!” ???

    • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      14 hours ago

      The world’s full of 'em, and many others, yep.

  • cjoll4@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Matt said: “It was a very embarrassing accident. One of the issues with being so large, especially in hot water showers, is that it’s not exactly easy to see my feet.

    “Especially when I move too fast, it can definitely mess with my balance, too. As I was rushing to get ready for work, I didn’t see the excess shower gel in the tub because my penis was the only thing in my eye line.

    Right, because a fifteen-inch penis is totally going to obstruct your view of both feet and everything else below your waistline, and your dick is totally the reason you clumsily slipped. And you totally aren’t looking for every possible excuse to turn any event of your life into another opportunity to brag about your massive, record-breaking schlong.

    🙄

    • Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip
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      21 hours ago

      He just likes to brag & isn’t evolved enough to have a detachable penis.

      • ImADifferentBird@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        14 hours ago

        He does, however, have an enormous penis

        • Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip
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          13 hours ago

          Anyone can always acquire an enormous penis & just have it on display somewhere to soothe your day.

      • cjoll4@lemmy.world
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        20 hours ago

        What a blast from the past!

        • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          14 hours ago

          I don’t even have to clock the link, and King Missile is now playing the hits in my head. 🤘🏼

          edit: leaving it, as-is

    • Heikki2@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      If mine was that big, I’d probably just stare it, too.

      Also Tom Segura has a bit about seeing a guy with a large penis

      • SirSamuel@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        While I appreciate the link, I am absolutely not having that in my watch history. I really don’t want recommendations based on…whatever that is

        • PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world
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          16 hours ago

          Yeah Tom Segura, yuck

        • tedd_deireadh@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Oh, c’mon! Where’s your sense of adventure?

          • SirSamuel@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            It died when my bones started to creak

            • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              14 hours ago

              Mr. Glass?

              • SirSamuel@lemmy.world
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                13 hours ago

                Feels like it sometimes, ngl

                Old age is probably worse, but middle age sucks

    • tisktisk@piefed.social
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      It takes one to know one, and buddy…you’re not that guy

      • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        14 hours ago

        Thankfully, neither am I. 😅😶

    • Evil Edgelord@sh.itjust.works
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      That sounds suspiciously jealous 😏

  • celeste@kbin.earth
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    this guy gets a burn cooking and he’s like “must’ve been because of my enormous penis” trips on the stairs “dick got caught in the spindles it’s so big” gets sleep apnea “my giant schlong wraps itself around my throat when I’m sleeping”

    • Bunbury@feddit.nl
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      I mean, to be fair… it must be pretty annoying. Chances are he’s not compatible size wise with 99.99% of women. Probably even jerking off is a massive workout. Probably gets lightheaded each time it fills with blood. Seriously… when you’re this far out of the normal range I recon attention is the main positive thing that comes out of the situation (at least for people who like attention). Everything else just seems needlessly difficult.

    • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      14 hours ago

      It’s just curious.

  • JackLSauce@lemmy.world
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    24 hours ago

    …independently measured at [37cm], and a cast of it has been included in a museum in Iceland.

    I have questions for Iceland; mostly about how to pronounce ð but we’ll get to that later

    • quick_snail@feddit.nl
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      Is that flacid or erect length?

      Edit: its erect length. When flacid, it was 25cm long

    • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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      It’s pronounced like the “th” in “weather.”

    • fossilesque@mander.xyzOP
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      The fucked up pronunciation in Icelandic comes from when you put to Ls together, e.g. Eyjafjallajökull. It makes an almost click sound.

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eyjafjallajökull

    • 🔍🦘🛎@lemmy.world
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      Like a T, but slide your tongue forward a little so it’s against your teeth

    • Senseless@feddit.org
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      More or less like the english th. Thorn (letter)

      • phutatorius@lemmy.zip
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        Sort of. ð is the Icelandic rendering for both edh and thorn, depending on context. Edh is voiced, thorn isn’t.

      • JackLSauce@lemmy.world
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        It’s the “unvoiced” part that confuses me

        • dandelion (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          voiced th is like this, that, mother

          unvoiced th like thick, thimble, thirty

          notice how the voiced th has a buzzing vocalization during the th sound, you can feel your teeth buzzing as you say the th in this

          but when you pronounce thirty that buzzing is absent and the first buzzing starts with the i (the vowel is the first voiced part).

        • Senseless@feddit.org
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          similar to th as in the English word thick, or a (usually apical) voiced alveolar non-sibilant fricative [ð̠],[2][3] similar to th as in the English word the

          Should do the trick, no?

          • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            14 hours ago

            That’s what she said?

            • Senseless@feddit.org
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              Sadly not.

              • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                Truth.

    • MunkysUnkEnz0@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      uh, a 14er. Climbers everywhere, rejoice.

    • fossilesque@mander.xyzOP
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      Th

  • JamesNZ@lemmy.world
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    Summary of the article. " By the way I have a massive cock, it is just huge, biggest in the world. Did I say about my massive unit? It is really big…oh I slipped in the shower and broke my arm,…but let’s get back to the massive third leg I have going on. ,"

    • wetsoggybread@lemmy.world
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      “Oops, I dropped my magnum condom for my magnum dong”

      • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        FWIW, that brand was specifically designed and marketed for average dicks to feel bigger. It’s their whole thing.

        • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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          It’s a product within a brand, but it actually is larger. You can look up the dimensions if you want.

  • TokenBoomer@lemmy.world
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    OMG it’s real

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    Ok that is the most ridiculous explanation I have ever heard. Do you have to see your feet to know where they are? And how do large busted or pregnant women manage then?

    Oof it must suck to be hung that big though. No balls deep in anyone, ever, and careful sex only.

    • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      Wait, you have busted and/or pregnant women watching your feet?

    • T156@lemmy.world
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      Do people even focus on their body parts that much on the day-to-day? It seems like something that you wouldn’t think about usually.

      • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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        When you have a 37cm pénis that’s probably all you can think about.

        • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          At that size, it better be paying the bills.

    • TisI@reddthat.com
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      I promise it’s a real issue for women.

      • RBWells@lemmy.world
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        I have been pregnant but don’t remember falling down because I couldn’t see my feet! I do remember my belly knocking into doorways when I miscalculated though, since it keeps growing.

        • TisI@reddthat.com
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          Oh don’t get me wrong. His excuse is absurd! Because you can move your feet in the shower if something is obstructing your view. My point was that yes having a body part that prevents you from seeing immediately below it can be a nuisance.

        • Øπ3ŕ@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          Keeps?! How? They didn’t cover that in Sex Ed. 😶

          • RBWells@lemmy.world
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            12 hours ago

            Well until the baby comes out, lol. The things I remember trying that were much harder with the constantly shifting weight distribution were roller skating and cartwheels. Bigger and bigger till the baby punches its way out of your abdomen (since in sex ed they probably didn’t cover that part either).

            But seriously, if women can handle that constant change in weight distribution, I am sure a guy with a massive schlong can handle having it without falling over. Unless it has a mind of its own and gets tangled around his legs or something.

  • AmidFuror@fedia.io
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    Funny story, but the size of my penis is why my balls always get wet when I pee.

    • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world
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      Me too!

  • AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works
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    I was careless, didn’t look where I stepped, it was totally because of my dick. Let me tell you more about it…

    • ✺roguetrick✺@lemmy.world
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      Seriously. Dude is acting like he can’t see the floor because his dick is in the way. Be one thing if he had syncope due to blood flow. Just didn’t look.

  • quick_snail@feddit.nl
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    13 hours ago

    Article doesn’t load. It’s just a blank page

    • fossilesque@mander.xyzOP
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      12 hours ago

      Alt links

      https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/man-left-broken-arm-because-10421316

      https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-worlds-largest-penis-seriously-35728280

      • quick_snail@feddit.nl
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        Thanks. Those both load fine

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